Friday, January 18, 2013

Focus on Life: 3/52: All About Me


The prompt for this week is "Make Time"...for myself. To relax and unwind.

I am once again the anomaly here. If you read the posts of other participants, you will find everyone with busy lives, full of people they take care of, who demand their time, things they want to do, but have no time for.

Not me. My life is mostly, just me. I don't have kids who need my attention, my parents are half a world away, my husband is an extreme introvert, who barely speaks 500 words a day.

So well, I have no stress, no hustle-bustle in my life.

And yet, I don't take care of myself. I get lonely and mope. I crawl into a corner with my laptop and browse for hours. And go to bed at the end of the day, thinking yet another day gone, doing a whole lot of not much. Yes, I do have a full-time job, which I enjoy, but there is not much else other than that. My friends do invite me to join them from time to time. And those are welcome changes to my drab existence.

It used to be different, and I am not sure I want to go into how I became this person. What I want to go into is how I am going to change this and be cheerful and active again. I am going to spend time pampering myself regularly. I am going to do everything that makes me happy. I am going to sing my heart out and dance till my feet hurt, even if I am only at home, in my kitchen, cooking dinner.

A week before the new year, I met up with my closest friends, who have known me for over a decade. We started talking about resolutions, and decided we should suggest resolutions for each other. One of them said: You need to be the person we knew, the person who people on Facebook think you are. That struck a very deep cord, jolted me into reality. And I am taking her advice very seriously.

One thing I used to do quite religiously once upon a time, which made me very happy, and made everyone who looked at my feet, smile a happy one, was get my nails done. Its been a very long time since I did that. So that was the first thing to go on my "pamper-list".

I went last Sunday. Even the pedicurist was surprised that she had not seen me in such a long time. The new plan is to go at least once a month, maybe more. Other than that, I need to take care of upper back pain that has been plaguing me for over a decade. I got a massage to help loosen those knots 3 weeks ago, and have another appointment tomorrow. This is also going to be an atleast once a month feature in my life. I also plan to travel a lot more, go some place I have never been every long weekend. I have already started researching my next getaway.

Oh right, you were here to see a picture, not to get a glimpse of the dark side of me :-)
Here's a picture I took this weekend at the nail salon. This is what I will make my life look like. Soon!

Colorful and cheerful! With lots of different patterns!


Do check out all the other posts here: The Studio Sublime

51 comments:

  1. You are my kindred spirit when it comes to manicures Kashmira! I'll keep painting my fingernails and you keep getting your pedicures and massages. By the end of 2013 we'll be back in tip top shape! =)

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  2. Kashmira, thank you for sharing - you are putting your wishes and dreams out there and I think the universe will be listening in 2013. Sounds like you have a very wise and dear friend; maybe she helped give you that nudge to help you put one foot in front of the other in order to start making changes that will make you happier. And you've had a success already, rekindling the fun you have when you get a manicure! Now that's one cool nail photo!! :-)

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    1. Yes, she's a darling...this friend of mine! And one who is not afraid to speak when needed. Am grateful I have her :)

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  3. well done, you, for taking your friend's resolution for you seriously! 'pampering' time isn't frivilous, it's valuing yourself and your body... and i'm sure the massage will really help your back :)
    a gorgeous photo btw!
    [no. 13 this week]

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    1. Hey Claire! Yes, the massage was good! I have another appointment already in 3 weeks, coz the back problems were built over a decade :(
      And I LOVE that picture too :)

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  4. I am surprised that you aren't full of cheer. You come across as happy. You have made me decide to get a pedicure too! I haven't had one in a long time. I usually do my own because I am so cheap!

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    1. Kathy, you must go! I go more for the massage than for anything else. Those girls are really good, and your poor feet need it!

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  5. First of all...love the photo here. What an amazing eye you have to see this beautiful, happy and fun arrangement of nail color art! And boy...do I ever resonate with this post. I don't have children either, and have loads of time to myself...but there is something to be said about taking the responsibility to find and maintain our zest for life, even when we share our lives with another in marriage or commitment. I often wonder why I have changed so much over the years, and had a person tell me that when you share your life with someone, that your energies are always merging...and if you are with someone that is super introverted, that energy has to be balanced on your end so you (as a couple/unit) don't become lopsided. If you are naturally inclined to be gregarious, and outgoing, it's important to honor and nurture this aspect of yourself and be true to who you are...that is our responsibility in marriage. After 17 years...I'm finally figuring it out! Sounds as if your friends are very astute...and loving, by bringing this up. They are good mirrors for reflecting back to you what you intuitively already know. Many blessings to you....

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  6. I can't wait to meet you in person ... I suspect I will meet a very thoughtful person... with beautiful nails - LOL!

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  7. I have had two pedicures in my life - and to tell you honestly - I had never felt more relaxed than after those two pedicures! I have also never had a massage, though my doctor suggested it for my chronic back pain (I have disc issues). I will live vicariously through you! Enjoy!

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    1. Patti, no! No vicarious living. You go get that massage at least. It makes a WORLD of difference, and if you find the right person (the place I go to is actually for posture therapy), they will teach you things you never knew which will help a lot even after you are home and all. Please, go!

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  8. Kashmira, I'm so proud of you for listening to your friends and making a plan to change! Maybe you could work on your husband too, a little at a time....

    I love the bright and cheery photo from the salon. I hope to see a brighter and more cheerful Kashmira soon! Enjoy your life!

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    1. Thanks Alice! Yep, working on myself first ;)

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  9. Oh, Kashmira, i don't want to think of you sitting in the dark hugging your laptop for dear life. You sound like you have wonderful friends, both home and online. Remember them .. We all love to see your smiling face. I love that you took some time to do your toes and I bet they look so cute.

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    1. Thanks Tanya, you're a sweetie :) And am determined not to get mopey, will always try to find an alternative. I promise myself :)

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  10. What excellent plans!! I tried fake nails once and it hurt so much since I've always been a nail miter and they are too short. Nope I soaked them off right away. I hope you chose something fabulous! Looking forward to seeing pictures o your travels too

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    1. Thanks Emma! Fake nails, ouch! Never done that, mine grow like weeds, lol!

      And today was the first long weekend of the year, and yes, I did go someplace I have never been before, and yes, I did take pics, and yes, will be posting them SOON!

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  11. Kashmira,
    I love how you opened yourself up here,..that's never easy for anyone but it shows your strength, courage and your 'true self' - I love it! Your photo is fun, too - can't wait to see what colors you got!!

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    1. Shel,
      Yes, it was hard, and I often find myself wanting to come back here and deleting the post. But can't do that, after all the support and cheer everyone has given me here :)

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  12. Good for you - everyone needs to pampered! Love those colorful nails!

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  13. I love your photo!

    I'm a pedicure gal - I try and go once a month if time and budget allows. It's a great relaxing hour. :-)

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    1. Meeling! Yes, it is! I usually take a crochet project along, since I am not much of a talker. But, boy, the gossip you get to hear there, its very entertaining :)

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  14. Kashmira, I am surprised to read this. I wouldn't have connected the words "drab existence" with you at all. Yes DANCE! Even if you are alone at home. Be happy my friend. Because I sense in your soul that IS who are. Make the changes you need to make to get back to that person and know there are those of us out here rooting for you and willing to support you.

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    1. Ema...yes, that is exactly what my friend meant. "Be who you are in your 'virtual' life" :)

      Thanks so much for your sweet words, hugs!

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  15. Such a cool picture! I thought they were lollipops in the thumbnail! Sounds like a wonderful plan to get out of your shell!

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  16. Very colourful, can't wait to see how stylish you look with them. You will have to share pics.

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  17. Hi Kashmira. I am glad you are making some resolutions to get out and make time to do things for you and go out and see your friends. Being at home a good deal of the time can be lonely and depressing. I've experienced shades of those feelings at times. The best thing to do is get out of the house! Getting your nails done is such a nice"me time" luxury. That's a great photo!

    Tracy

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  18. This is a heartbreaking post, somehow. I don't know your circumstances, but I know how it is for life to throw you around like a powerful ocean wave until you're not sure where the sky is anymore.
    I am happy to hear you're taking steps to get back into living the life fully. It doesn't have to be busy or crazy - you just need to feel good every day (or almost every day :)) - I think Stacie put it very well in the question her career councilor asked: what do you do when you don't have to do anything?
    Love your picture: may your life become colourful and cheerful :)

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  19. I love getting pedicures, it is a great way to relax and flip through magazines. My husband is a bit of an introvert too, so I make sure to get out even if he does not want to go. I look forward to see how you progress this year...carpe diem!!

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  20. Such an honest post, Kashmira! I love the photo and I'm so glad that you have decided to change things up a little in your life! You are a sweetheart of a person and you should take the time to let you heart sing! You need to take a little trip to ArtBLISS this year, I would love to meet you!!

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  21. Good for you for taking time to pamper yourself and taking steps to be happy again. I know how difficult it is because I'm in the same boat. We can do this!
    I love the colorful cheery nails and hope that is what your life looks like!

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    1. Thank you, Annette! Yes, we can and will do this :)

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  22. Like your pic. Glad to hear that you are cheering up. Good work girl.

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    1. Thank you, Becky :) Yes, I am definitely not liking the mopey person, she is out the door :)

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  23. I love the photo! What a heartfelt open and honest appraisal of your life right now. I think just being a part of this 52 week challenge is also going to do you a world of good. Good for you for taking what your friend said to heart and taking the first steps towards your own happiness again!

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    1. Thanks Laura! Yes, this challenge is helping me a LOT! And its only been 3 weeks!

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  24. Hi Kashmira,
    You are not alone in being different from the person people see on facebook and the blogs. I too have a lonley life even though there are others that live in the same house. I have also taken steps to change this, so you go girl and get back to that person your long time friends use to know. Take a picture of your pretty nails so we all can see.
    Therese

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    1. Thanks Therese :) I wondered about why that is, and figured its not to show others, but its just a place I escape to and feel good about things.
      Will post a picture of my feet soon :)

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  25. Kashmira, welcome back to yourself - the journey is amazing! And I love your way of pampering yourself, and that photo is so cool!

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    1. Thanks Holly :) Yeah, I do love the pic too :) It looks happy!

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  26. I felt the same way--Don't have kids, don't have a hubby, family is around but self-sufficient, so how can I not always have "me" time? And yet, like you, I generally don't take care of myself. I waste my days, and let work take aver the free time I do have. Yay for you starting to put yourself first again! I'm trying as well!

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    1. Thanks for writing in, Rana! So what are your plans? DO share, writing them down makes you do them :)

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  27. Thank you, Miss Kashmira, for being so open and honest. I think that you and I might be kindred spirits! I can totally relate to the introverted husband (not nearly as extreme, but I get it) and the need to be the person that others perceive of you. I have met you and you are gorgeous and vibrant and full of life. I just cannot see you any other way. You have much to offer this world, and I am glad that you are taking your friends' advice. I am getting those knots kneaded every month from now on, no excuses. And I just happened on a gift certificate I didn't find at Christmas for a spa. A pedicure is in my future. Maybe even fancy! Enjoy the day. Erin

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    1. Hey Erin, I saw that about your massage plans! We ignore our poor bodies so much, not anymore!
      And please! Fancy nails! I have purple with tiny white and yellow flowers :)

      And yes, I used to be a LOT more cheerful than what you even saw...need to bring that back. No reason to not be me anymore!

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  28. It's courageous to speak the kinds of thoughts that many of us may feel but do not say. And reading the wonderful responses from all your online friends makes this they just gave you a big virtual hug. I hope it makes you feel that way too.

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    1. Yes, Paula, it definitely feels that way!
      And I went on my first solo trip to a place I had not been to before today...since it was a long weekend :)

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  29. That picture does make me smile, but so do you. Perhaps I'm only sensing the "facebook" you. I watch your online presence and how many people you touch. It's inspiring. I do hope you take the time to do the same for yourself. Stop the moping and get out there!
    Oh, and I TOTALLY dance in the kitchen while I cook dinner all the time! (It's pretty good exercise too ;) )

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